Chinatown

Film: Chinatown (1974)
Dir: Roman Polanski
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



Apparently this movie is highly praised for its "perfect" screenplay. I dislike that p-word, but it is quite good; however, I don't think it should overshadow Roman Polanski's direction and Jack Nicholson's performance, which really make Chinatown. Honorable mention also goes to John Huston (yes, the director) who effectively creeped me out with his performance.

If you haven't seen it, the film is a throwback to the 30s/40's detective genre. It follows a private eye Jake Gittis (Nicholson) who uncovers a conspiracy within the Los Angeles Water Department. Of course, he gets mixed up with a mysterious woman (Faye Dunaway) and finds himself in a lot of trouble with a lot of people.

The film has really smart, surprising plot twists which engage the audience so that they too feel like detectives. And the ending...you'll probably never see it coming. The dialogue is snappy, and effectively delivered by the always amazing Nicholson ("Where does he get those wonderful toys?!"...sorry, couldn't resist). At times, the water conspiracy plot gets a little confusing, even in the end when all is "revealed", so that I had a bit of a problem with. The character-based aspects of the script were pretty well-done, like Jake's stuggle with his past in Chinatown and his powerlessness to stop history from repeating itself.

Chinatown is a great contribution to the genre. It must have been especially difficult to capture the authenticity and nostalgia of a detective film in 1974, but Polanski pulled it off with flying colors (even if he is a child-molesting egomaniac, haha). It is not the kind of movie I would watch over and over, but the superior quality of the filmmaking cannot be denied.

In the end, I am left with one burning question: How in the hell did they do that nose-slicing effect? I HAVE TO KNOW!!!

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Versus

Film: Versus (2000)
Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Tagline: Witness a battle no one has ever seen.
Rating: *** out of 5 stars



Probably haven't heard of this movie, have you? Imagine the Japanese made a zombie flick that feels like the lovechild of Evil Dead and Highlander. Yeah.

Like Dead & Breakfast, this is a cheesy, VERY low-budget horror film. If you're into that kind of thing, you'll really wanna check this one out. It has already developed quite a cult following, and understandably so. The plot is kinda incoherent (something to do with immortal warriors, a gateway to Hell, and the Yakuza) so its main appeal is the humor and the gore.

Easily the stand-out feature of this movie is the nut-job villain played by Kenji Matsuda. You can't miss him: he'll be the one in a green shirt, wielding a switchblade. DJ calls him "the asian Johnny Depp" but I think he's more like Gary Oldman at his wackiest. The guy definitely chews some scenary with his overacting, but I dare you not to laugh. He's the best part of this movie.




I'm not too fond of the lead actor, but he kinda grew on me. The lead actress is pretty annoying (aren't all asian chicks? haha, I keed! I keed!) but luckily for us, she gets smacked around a lot.

I didn't find anything groundbreaking about the cinematography. And its homages are anything but subtle. Sam Raimi's classic "Shaky-Cam" (camera racing through the woods at ground level) is used a few times, so much that it kind of bugged me, as it started to feel more like a rip-off than an homage. I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Even more obvious was the use of the "Sam-o-Cam" which I have never seen anyone else use since Raimi invented it for EDII. My reaction was half "Oh, cmon!" and half "Awesome! Evil Dead!". I can't blame them since I myself would love to adopt the Sam-o-Cam in a horror movie, except I'd be a little more subtle, geesh.

All that business aside, I enjoyed it. I would probably understand a lot more if I saw it again. For your first viewing, just enjoy the Yakuza guy's hilarious antics. And of course, the gratuitous violence toward women and zombies.

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The Aristocrats

Film: The Aristocrats (2005)
Director: Paul Provenza
Tagline: No nudity. No violence. Unspeakable obscenity.
Rating: *** out of 5 stars



Usually, when people walk out on a film, it means the movie is a steaming pile of crap. The Aristocrats proves otherwise. There were only 5 people (including me and Grizzle) in the theater when we saw this film, and 2 of them walked out. That is especially amazing when the film is not some gory horror or obscene porno - it's a documentary! It is definitely the most vulgar documentary - scratch that, FILM - I have seen in recent memory. It thrives on how offensive it can be. And I absolutely love it! This movie doesn't just push the envelope, it takes a bulldozer to that pussy envelope and sends it plummeting over the edge of moral decency.

Any fan of stand-up comedy will be delighted at the sheer number of famous faces in this movie. We hear from some of the dirtiest comedians alive (George Carlin, Bob Saget) and some of the cleanest (Whoopi Goldberg, Carrot Top). At least one of your favorite comics is probably in this movie. Some of them are shockingly vulgar, and others shockingly watered-down.

Some people have complained that the movie has too much commentary on comedy in general and not enough comedians telling their version of the Aristocrats joke. I think it would've been a dull movie had they done the latter. There are a lot of full and partial tellings of the joke, but other amusing bits as well. I enjoyed the comedians' stories and anecdotes. The people who told the joke without the prerequisite urine, feces, and incest turned out to be some of the funniest bits (Steven Wright, Sarah Silverman).

The movie has dull moments, and "wtf?" moments. It moves slowly at times, especially the beginning, but once it picks up, it's great. If you are easily offended (or EVER offended), this film is not for you. If you like potty humor and/or stand-up comedy, prepare to laugh.

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Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior

Film: Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003)
Director: Prachya Pinkaew
Tagline: No stunt doubles, no computer images, no strings attached .
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5 stars



So I FINALLY got around to seeing this film. I didn't know if I should expect too much action, or too little action, so I went into the movie feeling pretty ambivalent. Long story short, I liked it. Tony Jaa does moves that, as one critic put it, "would send Jackie Chan to the chiropractor." There's a cool on-foot chase scene through the city where Ting (Jaa) leaps through hoops, dives over walls, and even slides under trucks. It sounds lame, but trust me, it's cool. He is ridiculously limber and graceful on his feet. It's pretty damn impressive. And it's all real folks. No shitty Jet Li wire tricks or CG here! His Thai boxing is pretty awesome, too. Never before have I seen a guy use his knees and elbows so much and so effectively in a fight! The cinematography used to capture the fights is also pretty neato.

Aside from all the fighting, the film is entertaining enough. There are some funny moments. The story is kind of generic, but it works for this. I liked most of the characters, especially Ting's insane opponents. This is largely an action film, but I suspect most people who rent or buy this movie are seeking just that: action. If that is the case, then trust me, it delivers.

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Dead & Breakfast

Film: Dead & Breakfast (2004)
Director: Matthew Leutwyler
Tagline: It's like a bad horror movie. Only worse.
Rating: *** out of 5 stars



I think it is only fair to judge a movie based on the circumstances under which it was made. For instance, Dead & Breakfast is a very low-budget horror/comedy. It doesn't exactly have the budget of Shaun of the Dead, so it's a tad unfair for everyone to keep comparing them. It also lacks Simon Pegg, and c'mon, he turns everything he's in into fried gold (watch Spaced).

But I digress.

I enjoyed this film. It had some serious flaws but there is just a special place in heart for these kinda movies.

* The cameos: David Carradine and Diedrich Bader. Not their best work but it is always cool to see them in anything. I would've liked more of Carradine especially, but I suspect this was only a favor to his niece, who is the film's lead.

* The music: I had hesitations when I heard this movie had singing, but much like Cannibal! The Musical, the music turned out to be one of its better aspects. The country music, that is. The film's use of heavy metal was pretty awkward and random. But the original country and "rap" songs written for the movie were a nice addition.

* The gore: As the film progressed, it felt more and more reminiscent of Dead Alive (aka Braindead). It is clearly low-budget which makes it that much funnier. There is a scene where a girl is just overwhelmed by a mob of zombies (ok, they're closer to Deadites than zombies, but I'm using the zed word for simplicity). Anyway, as she is chainsawing her way through them, I couldn't help but think of the lawnmower scene in Dead Alive. I doubt anyone reading this has seen D&B and/or Dead Alive so I'll move on. There wasn't as much gore as I had heard and I would've liked more, but it was still pretty fun to watch.

* The black humor: Four words - decapitated head hand puppet. Nuff said.



I liked Jeremy Sisto a lot in this, as I always do. Oz Perkins (Anthony's son!), as well. He goes from a quiet, boring, absolutely uninteresting character to one of my new favorite undead villains. He's pretty amusing in this.

It's not brilliant or profound, and probably not even destined for cult status, but it's a fun brainless (haha) movie for when you're in that kinda mood. And if you' re like me, you're always in that kinda mood.

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Rear Window

Film: Rear Window (1954)
Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Tagline: Seeing isn't always believing.
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



I would never use the words "Alfred Hitchcock" and "overrated" in the same sentence. His films absolutely live up to all their hype. I've always been a fan of Psycho, and it was almost ousted as my favorite Hitch film by Rear Window last night (almost...but more on that later). Its ideas on voyeurism, privacy, and self-reflexivity were pretty ahead of its time. All the actors gave outstanding performances, especially Grace Kelly, who surprised me most. I did not expect the film to develop such strong female characters, and they were not merely there to satisfy female viewers, but served as important factors in the story and the message it presented.

It is also nice to watch an older film and find yourself laughing. The movie was quite amusing, and boy was it tense! I found myself on the edge of my seat multiple times. Window may be even more suspenseful than Psycho, methinks. However, one big flaw knocked it down a peg for me - the ending. The movie built itself up for a potentially awesome ending, and just didn't pursue it. Instead, we get the cop-out Hollywood happy ending. That bugged me. The film is still great, but it could've been better had it ended on a darker note.

I don't want to end this blog negatively since the film is just fantastic, so I'll comment on the wonderful technical aspects. Hitchcock's use of music and sound - AMAZING. All the sound is diegetic (comes from within the world in the movie) which served the film's purpose ideally. The mise-en-scene was meaningful and appealing to the eyes - I especially love how there is always action somewhere on camera and characters move in and out of the frame simultansouly. I liked the use of the same technique in Do The Right Thing (even if Spike Lee is a douche). In terms of cinematography, the film is flawless. The use of light and shadows, the shot compositions, the subjective angles, etc etc. All perfectly constructed and perfectly suited to the story being told.

If only the ending had been a little different. Tis a shame. Perhaps I am looking at it entirely wrong. It wasn't a bad ending by any means - just not the one I wanted, I suppose.

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