Disturbia

Title: Disturbia (2007)
Dir: DJ Caruso
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5 stars



I had my doubts about Disturbia, since it seemed like just a teen-marketed remake of Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window. While that may true, the film is suprisingly better than I expected.

Kale (Shia LaBeouf) is a troubled teen who gets placed under house arrest after punching his teacher. Bored inside his house, he turns to spying on neighbors to pass the time. After witnessing what he thinks is a murder, Kale and his two friends start investigating their neighbor, Mr. Turner (David Morse). But they stick their noses in too far and Kale's once-harmless voyeurism turns into a struggle to stay alive.

Director DJ Caruso (The Salton Sea) delivers some effective suspense. The scares are pretty tame because of the film's target audience, but for what it is, they work. David Morse is especially creepy and keeps the viewer wondering, "Is he or isn't he?" LaBeouf is also an entertaining protagonist, with the right mix of humor and angst.

Disturbia tiptoes around intriguing issues like privacy, obsession, and paranoia, but doesn't bother to really dive into these topics. This is a maintstream thriller, afterall. But it does excel at building tension where most mainstream thrillers fail. The script effectively adapts Rear Window's ideas to a modern environment without insulting the original. It's not Hitchcock, but it'll do.

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Halloween

Title: Halloween (1978)
Dir: John Carpenter
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5 stars

I know, this is long overdue for a horror buff like myself. Honestly, I've never been a fan of the "big" killers - Jason, Mike, Freddy. But Halloween has a leg up since it was directed by John Carpenter. And that vapid Shatner-esque face on Myers is pretty damn creepy.

Fifteen years after the 6-year-old Michael Myers murdered his older sister, he escapes a sanitarium and returns to his home town on Halloween night to terrorize the locals. Jamie Lee Curtis plays the obgliatory "survivor girl" (thank you, Leslie Vernon), a babysitter named Laurie. Michael starts picking off Laurie's horny friends, and eventually chases her around for a while in classic horror movie fashion. Meanwhile, Myers' former psychiatrist Dr. Loomis follows him back to town in hopes of stopping his murderous rampage.

I was surprised at how little gore this movie had. Most of Mikey's carnage was implied off-screen, or yielded only small amounts of blood. And the overall body count barely tops 5. That is what I love about these old horror films - it was about quality, not quantity. And it was fairly realistic. In the subsequent sequels, we get teenager after teenager after teenager being gutted and the whole thing just loses its steam.

I liked Carpenter's directing style here and the actors all filled their roles adequately. And of course the music was great. It's not the kind of film that will stick with me, but slashers never were my cup o' tea. I probably would have appreciated the whole movie more if I saw it 20-30 years ago when this sort of thing was fresh. Nevertheless, I can see why Halloween was such a big influence upon contemporary horror films. And I see why John Carpenter always has a get-out-of-jail free card for making shit like Ghosts of Mars.

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Meet the Robinsons

Title: Meet the Robinsons (2007)
Dir: Stephen J. Anderson
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5 stars



After Chicken Little, I did not have much faith in Disney's ability to make a decent computer-animated film without Pixar. So I was pleasantly surprised when I saw Meet the Robinsons. It's not Pixar quality (honestly, what is?) but it is still a sweet, well-written comedy for all ages.

An orphaned boy-genius named Lewis, longing to see what his mother looked like, invents a memory scanning device. While presenting it at a science fair, a nefarious villain from the future - known simply as "Bowler Hat Guy" - sabotages the device, effectively crushing the boy's confidence. But his spirits pick up when he meets Wilbur, a boy from the future who takes Lewis forward in time to meet his wacky futuristic family. Warm and fuzzies ensue as Lewis finds the family he never had. But meanwhile, Bowler Hat Guy is cooking up an evil scheme....

The whole film is very amusing for kids, and has occasional moments of great adult humor. The Bowler Hat Guy in particular had me laughing out loud a few times. More than anything, Meet the Robinsons is heart-warming, like the olden days of Disney films. In fact, the story itself was inspired by Walt Disney and focuses heavily on his motto, "Keep moving forward." All the follow-your-dreams-and-never-give-up stuff even had me welling up once or twice. This is a movie kids will surely love, but it also has enough humor and heart to keep adults happy.

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Let's Go To Prison

Title: Let's Go To Prison (2006)
Dir: Bob Odenkirk
Rating: **1/2 out of 5 stars

Initially, I wouldn't touch this film with a 10-foot pole. But then I started watching Arrested Development. And Gob Bluth stole my heart. So how could I resist a Will Arnett prison movie? Especially when "Key Decisions" is one of my favorite episodes.

In this comedy, career criminal John Lyshitski (Dax Shepard) attempts to besmirch the name of the judge who imprisoned him by setting up the deceased judge's son, Nelson (Will Arnett). He gets Nelson wrongfully thrown in jail, where John pretends to befriend the naive rich kid in order to torture him further.

Despite being directed by 1/2 of Mr Show and written by 2/11 of The State, this film isn't as funny as I had hoped. Shepard has an amusing line here and there, but most of the movie's humor comes from Arnett just playing an uncomfortable white guy. My favorite part of the movie is Will trying to sing "Move It" by Technotronic. He is delightfully awkward.

Beyond that, Let's Go to Prison doesn't offer much. Mostly there are a lot of gay rape prison jokes. Woot. I enjoyed the darker moments, where the characters are just back-stabbing bastards. But "don't drop the soap" gags just don't do it for me.

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Blades of Glory

Title: Blades of Glory (2007)
Dir: Josh Gordon, Will Speck
Rating: *** out of 5 stars



Even though Blades of Glory looked very unfunny and I cannot stand Jon Heder, I just couldn't resist Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Will Arnett and Jenna Fischer together in one film. And they turned out to be the best parts of this otherwise mediocre comedy.

Heder and Ferrell play competing figure skaters who get kicked out of the singles competition for fighting. Years later, the washed up skaters get a second chance when they discover a loop hole - they can still enter the couples contest. So they team up and begrudgedly train for the big competition. Much gayness ensues. Their main competitors are two Swedish siblings (played by real-life married couple, Arnett and Poehler). Their over-the-top costumes and selfishness are way funnier than the lead characters, in my opinion.

Blades is far from Anchorman quality, but better than shitty Talladega Nights (you heard me). I didn't like the lame gay jokes, but a few other moments were quite funny. Heder did not contribute at all to the fim's humor, he was just the lame protagonist. It's so unfair that he gets the girl (James Gunn's girl, at that!). Ferrell missed a few jokes, but many were classic Will. Still, Poehler and Arnett were my favorite part of the film.

Anyway, the movie really does pick up toward the end. The sight gags got funnier and the ice skating competition became more engrossing. By the end, I felt content. I enjoyed myself. It's not the funniest film this year, but it's still pretty entertaining, especially for fans of its stars.

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Fast Food Nation

Title: Fast Food Nation (2006)
Dir: Richard Linklater
Rating: **1/2 out of 5 stars



Based on Eric Schlosser's book of the same name, Fast Food Nation examines the social and ethical consequences of the fast food industry. It follows three simulatenous storylines - illegal immigrants are forced to work miserable, dangerous jobs at a meat-packing plant; a marketing exec for a McDonalds-esque company discovers the disgusting history of the meat they sell; and a teenage fast food clerk quits her job after meeting some animal rights activists.

I like the concept behind this Traffic-esque narrative, but unfortunately the film suffers from a lack of focus. Too often it misses the point and/or veers off course - in particular, the story about the teenager who hooks up with some so-called "environmentalists" and tries to free the cows. Firstly, the activists are self-centered college students with no real concept of animal welfare. Was this the point? That animal rights activists are stupid, or that these kids are just dumb? I really didn't get the point Schlosser and Linklater were trying to make. If they wanted to show how the fast food industry upsets our nation's youth and rallies activism, that would've been great, but they didn't do that. They just portrayed some dumb kids who are easily influenced. I don't see how this bears any relevance to the fast food industry.

There is also a worthless story attached to that one, wherein the teenager's former coworkers discuss a plot to rob the fast food resturant. It never goes anywhere, and it doesn't critize the industry at all. I guess the point was that clerks are paid so poorly that they'd be driven to crime. But again, they mostly come across as dumb teenagers who would do this sort of thing no matter where they worked.

The only real poignant narrative in the movie is Greg Kinnear as the marketing exec who investigates where the meat comes from. Then again, the only thing he really discovers is that the meat has a lot of fecal matter in it. I thought this part of the story could've included a lot more on the cruel treatment of the animals, or the other ways in which the meat gets tainted.

The story of the illegal immigrants is important, albeit a little misfired. Their miserable situation in the movie is not directly related to the fast food industry, but deals far more with immigration laws and workers' rights. Yes, the industry exploits their availability, but they don't have to work at the factory, nor do they have to even come to the USA. We never even see why they fled. This is a whole other issue, and Linklater really didn't focus enough on how the industry is responsible for their situation. I do think the issue of workers' rights in meatpacking plants is an important one, but it wasn't addressed as well as it should've been here.

Criticisms aside, Fast Food Nation does have its moments of poignancy and daring filmmaking. It may still make you think twice about getting that Big Mac next time. The movie isn't terrible, it just doesn't hit the nail on the head like it should have and could have. This movie could've been something really profound. Linklater should've dropped the teenager story (or steered toward a point) and explored a wider variety of the industry's consequences. What about environmental impacts? Cruelty to animals? Effects on our health and the nation's rising obesity levels? It's a real shame the movie missed all these issues.

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For Your Consideration

Title: For Your Consideration (2006)
Dir: Christopher Guest
Rating: **1/2 out of 5 stars



It really pains me to say, but this film is just not that funny. I was so excited to see it, being a big fan of Christopher Guest. In the end, maybe two or three lines actually made me chuckle.

Guest's usual crew of actors returns in For Your Consideration, a comedy about the movie industry. When a small family drama called Home for Purim begins to receive Oscar buzz, everything from the script to the actors' faces is forced to change. This film follows the same basic outline as all of Guest's previous films - the camera following a group of people as they prepare for a big performance/competition (in this case, the Academy Awards nominations).

But Consideration is different in that it's not a mockumentary. I admire the director trying to branch out, but this would have worked better as a mockumentary. If Guest wanted to switch to a traditional narrative style, perhaps he should have used a new plot outline, too. I just couldn't get into it this time around.

Some of the actors are still very much on their game. For me, the most consistently funny is John Michael Higgins, who is so dense and says the most absurd things. I think I loved him more in this than any previous Guest movie. And Fred Willard had me rolling, of course, albeit in a small role. Ricky Gervais also provides a brief but funny cameo.

It's possible this one could grow on me if I ever see it again - A Mighty Wind certainly did. But I really think For Your Consideration could've been a lot better. And I feel like a conformist jerk saying this, but I really wish the film would have been shot as a mockumentary. Nevertheless, I'll still rush out to see whatever Mr. Guest makes next.

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Grindhouse

Title: Grindhouse (2007)
Dir: Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Edgar Wright, Rob Zombie & Eli Roth
Rating: ***** out of 5 stars



If you miss this in theaters, I truly feel pity for you. Grindhouse is the most fun I have had at the movies for some time.

I absolutely love the idea behind this feature - what the grindhouse experience would be like today, in the hands of modern filmmakers. All five directors involved pay great tribute to the genre, even if some are weaker than others (more on that later). And they cover multiple categories of grindhouse film, including zombies, nazis, and cars (oh my!)

This double-feature is comprised of Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror and Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof, with four faux movie trailers in-between. I'll review each individually:

Planet Terror (dir: Robert Rodriguez) ***** out of 5 stars

The film begins when some ex-military terrorists (led by Bruce Willis) release an airborne toxin that spreads rapidly through the population, turning people into bloodthirsty zombies. Among the small group of survivors are Ray (Freddy Rodriguez), his one-legged-stripper-ex-girlfriend Cherry (Rose homewrecker McGowen), a police sheriff (badass Michael Biehn), and a short-order cook (badasser Jeff Fahey). And there's also Josh Brolin as a crazy doctor trying to kill his unfaithful wife (Marley Shelton).

The whole cast is great, and loaded with cameos. Rodriguez's script is fun and hilarious. The FX, provided by Greg Nicotero and Howard Burger, are over-the-top and wonderful. Planet Terror maintains the cheese factor required of a grindhouse film, but it's also genuinely good. In fact, it's my favorite Rodriguez film to date (not counting Sin City, which was really Frank Miller's movie). I had a blast watching this one and could do so over and over.

Death Proof (dir: Quentin Tarantino) ***1/2 out of 5 stars

Tarantino's take on grindhouse is very different from Rodriguez's. Death Proof homages the old car chase films (e.g., Vanishing Point). To be honest, it is far more faithful to the genre, which means it is also really boring at times. I can appreciate what QT was going for - those old films often had long periods of dull dialogue punctuated by a badass action sequence or two. And that's exact what happens here. Death Proof is 3/4 talking and 1/4 the coolest shit ever.

The film opens with a group of girls enjoying a night at the bar. There is probably 45 minutes of these chicks talking about things we don't care about and have zero relevance to the movie. Then a mysterious stranger named Stuntman Mike (played brilliantly by Kurt Russell) starts terrorizing these ladies. This culminates in the single greatest car crash sequence I have ever seen. I give MAJOR credit to Tarantino, Nicotero and Burger on that scene. I get chills just thinking about it! And Kurt Russell OWNS this movie. Everytime he was on-screen, things got a lot more enjoyable. This is old-school Russell - like the Jack Burton/Snake Pliskin days.

So then the film has another 45 minutes of some other girls sitting around and talking. Yawn. And once again, Stuntman Mike shows up to do some terrorizing. And yet again, the film then delivers one of the greatest sequences ever shot. The ending is absolutely wonderful and easily made me forget how boring the last hour was. I walked out of the theatre still laughing. So in short, expect to be bored. But also expect that it's totally worth it in the end.

And now, some coming attractions....

Machete (dir: Robert Rodriguez) **** out of 5 stars

This is only my third favorite trailer in Grindhouse, but that doesn't mean I don't love it. Danny Trejo plays a Mexican dude who is set up by some bad guys and left for dead. So he becomes a vigilante hell-bent on taking out the bastards who tried to kill him. He chucks machetes, he rides a motorcycle with a mounted gatling gun, and of course, he gets the ladies. This trailer is delightfully tongue-in-cheek. The narration had me rolling with laughter, and Rodriguez threw in some nice cameos from Jeff Fahey and Cheech Marin. This seems to be the fan favorite, but for me, the trailers get even better....

Thanksgiving (dir: Eli Roth) ***** out of 5 stars

I didn't expect much at all from this trailer, but Roth surprised me yet again. This may be the funniest section of the whole movie. It's about a killer dressed as a pilgrim who slaughters teenagers on Thanksgiving. That idea alone is classic. And in just three minutes, Roth gives us some of the greatest, most fucked-up, hilarious deaths scenes. I loved every second.

Don't (dir: Edgar Wright) ***** out of 5 stars

This is the trailer I was most excited about, since I'm a huge fan of the director. With this one, Edgar Wright pays homage to European grindhouse, like Legend of Hell House and Suspiria. The trailer is vague and makes very little sense, which is exactly the point. It's a spot-on homage. Will Arnett provides the hilarious narration and Don't boasts British cameos ranging from Simon Pegg (duh) to Jason Isaacs. Like everything Wright makes, the trailer looks fantastic and very original. I really wish he'd make a full-length feature of it.

Werewolf Women of the SS (dir: Rob Zombie) *** out of 5 stars

This is my least favorite trailer of the bunch. I give Zombie credit for the look of it. I like the visual style, the music, and the general idea. You just gotta have one completely ridiculous Nazi movie somewhere. But I just felt it wasn't as original. Firstly, it's the only trailer to name-drop, which bugged me. Zombie made a point of mentioning his wife, Bill Moseley, and Nicolas Cage (a cameo I thought was hilarious, nonetheless). I wish he wouldn't have done that, it came across as pretentious to me. And those old movies didn't have actors anybody heard of, so naming them is a no-no. Werewolf Women was an amusing addition to the film, but Zombie could've done a lot more with it.

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