Smokin' Aces

Title: Smokin' Aces (2007)
Dir: Joe Carnahan
Rating:**1/2 out of 5 stars



Despite Ben Affleck and my better judgement, I decided to see Smokin' Aces. I hoped it might be a cheap, enjoyable successor to Guy Ritchie's crime capers, but instead I saw a loud, convoluted, sometimes quirky but mostly stupid shoot-em-up.

When the mafia puts a contract on the head of Vegas magician (and wannabe gangster) Buddy "Aces" Israel (Jeremy Piven), a plethora of hitmen come out of the woodwork to collect. Joining the melee are two tough black chicks, a trio of insane neo-Nazis, and a master of disguses. Meanwhile, two FBI agents (Ryan Reynolds, Ray Liotta) attempt to protect Israel and bring down his mob associates.

So here is yet another film trying WAY too hard to be cool. Firstly, the movie has far too much going on at once. Films like Snatch made that work, but this one can't. There are way too many characters, and their stories are poorly connected together. Martin Henderson's character has a particularly worthless sidestory, wherein he gets shot and hides out in a trailer park. And suddenly the writing veers into what I can only assume is a criticism of Ritalin? I don't know.

Secondly, the director gets Tony Scott syndrome. Attention filmmakers: color filters and shutter speed alone do not make a movie! I enjoy the jittery look when it's appropriate, but I'm getting sick of all these action films using it with reckless abandon.

Finally, this movie just gets really fuckin weird. I mean, we see a kid doing karate with a boner. I kid you not. Sometimes it was quirky, but mostly it was just strange and didn't suit the rest of the movie. I wouldn't have wanted the writing to be witless, I really think quirkiness is necessary. There just wasn't enough of it in this film. And don't get me started on the ending, which is one of the dumbest "twists" I have ever seen on film.

As for the cast, Aces does have some great actors. The best parts of this movie were Piven, Liotta, and Jason Bateman as a scumbag lawyer. Oh, and I also enjoyed Chris Pine as one of the neo-Nazi hitman, if only because the role is so vastly different from the last film I saw him in (Just My Luck).

It's a shame, this movie had real potential. Apparently Joe Carnahan's Narc was amazing and I still intend to see it someday. I dig the idea of all these different assasins trying to out-do each other for a hit. Unfortunately, both the script and direction veered off-course into cliche territory.

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Pan's Labyrinth

Title: Pan's Labyrinth -aka - El Laberinto del fauno (2006)
Dir: Guillermo del Toro
Rating: ***** out of 5 stars



I am seriously frustrated that I can't form words to accurately describe just how brilliant this movie is. But I'll give it my best shot....

Pan's Labyrinth is a wonderful mixture of fantasy, historical drama, and horror. Set against the backdrop of fascist Spain in 1944, young Ofelia escapes the harsh reality of the war and her sadistic stepfather by creating her own imaginary world of fairies, monsters, and princesses.

An old faun ("Pan") tells the girl she is the princess of a magical underworld and may reclaim her throne by completing three dangerous tasks. Meanwhile, in the real world, Ofelia's stepfather - a ruthless army captain - battles a group of guerillas who have been stealing rations and medicine. The two storylines are woven together beautifully.

Ivana Baquero, the 12-year-old actress who portrays Ofelia, carries this film on her shoulders. She is so vulnerable yet mature at the same time, which is perfectly suited to her character - a girl on the brink of adulthood, struggling to let go of the fairy tales that protect her from cruel reality. Baquero, talented beyond her years, is one of very few child actors to ever really impress me. That short list once included Natalie Portman and Christian Bale, who also made their debuts at age 12 in The Professional and Empire of the Sun, respectively. I trust Ivana will share in their success someday.

The rest of the cast is equally impressive. As Ofelia's stepfather, Sergi López portrays one of the most evil characters I have ever seen. There is a faint glimmer of humanity in him (hint: stopwatch) but 99.9% is a complete bastard. Maribel Verdú also gives a great performance as the captain's strong-willed servant, Mercedes.

I don't mean to ramble on about actors, but everyone is really quite brilliant in this movie. So I gotta mention Ariadna Gil as Ofelia's mother and Álex Angulo as her doctor, both of whom turn in strong performances as well. Oh! And lest I forget Doug Jones, who played both of the film's creatures (Pan and the Pale Man). All that makeup and latex couldn't hide his stellar performance. Furthermore, the American actor chose to memorize his lines and Baquero's lines in Castilian Spanish so Pan's dubbed voice would match. You gotta love that kind of dedication.

Ok, so finally: Guillermo del Toro. After this movie, I can forgive him for Blade 2 and Hellboy. Del Toro has written a brilliant fable and turned it into a breath-taking film. The script, which clearly draws inspiration from Western fairy tales and Greek mythology, is multi-layered and just open-ended enough to let viewers make interpretations.

Del Toro brings equal parts fantasy and darkness to Pan's look. The makeup fx artists and set designers also did an amazing job. Visually, the movie reminds me of del Toro's horror film, The Devil's Backbone, which the director himself refers to as Pan's "sister movie." And this one isn't lacking in horror, with some pretty graphic scenes and downright terrifying moments. So leave the little ones at home.

I'm still bitter that the Academy snubbed Pan's Labyrinth for Best Foreign Picture when I personally think it's better than most of the Best Picture nominees of last year. In any language, this film is beautiful and every single person reading this review better go see it.

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Children of Men

Title: Children of Men (2007)
Dir: Alfonso Cuarón
Rating: ***** out of 5 stars



This film is INTENSE. And I love it.

Let me begin with the brilliant story: It's the future and the world is dying. Women have mysteriously become infertile and thus human extinction seems inevitable. Then miraculously, a young African girl becomes pregnant. A group of activists attempt to transport her safely across war-torn England while some others try to exploit her for political gain.

Children of Men is realistic, gritty, and unrelenting. Some movie scenes have shocked and unsettled me (like the first 10 minutes of Saving Private Ryan or the last 10 minutes of Requiem for a Dream), but this whole movie does just that. It can be intensely violent and yet it feels very real. Perhaps that is what makes it so scary - it might come true someday.

The actors are top-notch, notably Clive Owen as a regular guy who finds himself responsible for saving a young girl, her baby, and ultimately the world. Michael Caine and Chiwetel Ejiofor also turn in strong performances. I felt like I was watching real people and every tense situation had my stomach in knots.

Visually, the film is gorgeous. Cuarón's use of continuous, handheld takes are stunning and really contribute to the film's realism. With its dark, gritty look, Children presents a practical vision of the future - one dominated by war and desperation. But there also exists a feeling of hope therein. The film portrays the ugliest side of humanity, and then reminds us that human kindness can persevere even in mankind's final hour.

Don't miss this movie.

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Die Hard: With a Vengeance

Title: Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
Dir: John McTiernan
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5 stars



Let me first say, I am a big fan of Die Hard. It is possibly the greatest action film ever made. While Vengeance can't touch the original, it is a pretty fun popcorn movie.

As usual, some eurotrash villain (Jeremy Irons) is threatening to kill a lot of people, so Detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) gets called in. This time, that villain is a bomber named "Simon" who wants revenge on the man who killed his little brother, Hans Gruber (see the first film).

Simon sends McClane on a series of mindgames around the city. With each game, he must diffuse a deadly bomb before it goes off. Along the way, a local shopkeeper (Samuel L. Jackson) gets mixed up in the games and is forced to help McClane stop the terrorist.

Vengeance lacks the sleek style and witty one-liners of its first predecessor, but I still had a blast (no pun intended) watching it. Although he's no Hans Gruber, Simon is very devious and his mindgames are fun to figure out. I'm still trying to solve one involving two jugs of water.

Willis and Jackson have great on-screen chemistry, and together they bring comic relief to the film. I could've done without the occasional bad CGI (I'm talking to you, flood!) but all in all, it is a fun popcorn flick. Maybe I should see Die Hard 2....wait, Renny Harlin? Fuck that.

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Lady Vengeance

Title: Lady Vengeance -aka- Chinjeolhan geumjassi (2005)
Dir: Park Chan-wook
Rating: ****1/2 out of 5 stars



A perfect end to a perfect trilogy! If you are a fan of its predecessors, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and Oldboy, you will love Lady Vengeance.

Lady has a lot in common with those films, including child kidnapping, wrongful imprisonment, and of course, lots of revenge. And it has Min-sik Choi (Dae-su Oh from Oldboy) as one of the most loathsome characters ever put on film.

After spending 13 years in prison for a crime she didn't commit, Lee Guem-ja (Lee Yeong-ae) seeks revenge on the man responsible. With the help of her fellow inmates, she tracks him down and soon discovers that her life wasn't the only one he ruined. I'm gonna end the plot description here because I don't want to give away anything more. You really need to see it for yourself.

If you are familiar with Park Chan-wook's work, it shouldn't surprise you that Lady Vengeance is beautifully shot. There's a particularly great panning shot where Guem-ja uses her gun in a dark alley. It reminded me a lot of the hammer scene from Oldboy.

Lady Vengeance is less violent and more emotional than its predecessors, but don't let that deter you sickos, it still has its share of fucked-upery. One scene in particular was VERY hard for me to watch (if you've seen the movie, ask and I shall tell you which). This movie is powerful, beautiful, and should not be missed.

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