Live Free or Die Hard

Title: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Dir: Len Wiseman
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



Here we have yet another movie that reminds me why I love Bruce Willis. Even in his 50s, the man is still badass. This fourth installment in the Die Hard series gets a bad rap for being over-the-top, but I enjoyed it despite that - and because of it.

After hackers breach the FBI's computer system, NYPD officer John McClane (Willis) is asked to apprehend young hacker Matt Farrell (Justin Long) for questioning. When John reaches Matt's apartment, the two are attacked by armed men who evidently want Farrell dead. As it turns out, Matt unwittingly assisted the cyber-terrorists who crashed the FBI network. And next they intend to target the stock market, traffic signals, and the entire computer infrastructure of America, thereby sending the nation into a state of chaos. Now it is up to McClane and Farrell to bring down the bad guys before they bring the U.S. to its knees.

Okay, I know the hackers-take-over-the-country plot is complete bullshit, but if you loosen up and just go with the ride, it's a lot of fun! It is a whole new ball game for John McClane, who has dealt with Eurotrash and their bombs, but now he is up against young Americans on a playing field he knows nothing about (computers). But that doesn't stop John from delivering old-school justice to these new-age nerds! McClane kicks major ass here. Sure, some of the stunts are complete bs, namely a jet-vs-semi battle on a freeway (and since when does DC have palmtrees?), but most of the action is hella fun.

The best part of the movie is Bruce Willis. For me, his portrayal of McClane in this is akin to Ash in Army of Darkness. In the first Die Hard, McClane was good, but still scared and quite beaten up - just like Ash in Evil Dead (moreso in ED 2). But in Army, Ash was a hard-boiled badass who had seen enough Deadites that it barely affected him anymore. Likewise, McClane has seen it all now, and is ready to kick any terrorist's ass. Furthermore, just like Ash, John is at his cockiest in Live Free. The one-liners are great here.

Justin Long is funny enough, and he plays off Willis well. I also really liked Timothy Olyphant as the leader of the badguys, Thomas Gabriel. He has some funny moments himself, especially involving McClane's daughter, Lucy (Mary-Elizabeth Winstead).

Of course, this movie is nowhere near as good as the first film (what is?) but it is a surprisingly good installment of the series. I think I like it even more than Die Hard With a Vengeance. If you can refrain from getting your panties in a bunch over the stunts or the hacker mumbojumbo, then you are bound to have a good time watching this.

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Ocean's 13

Title: Ocean's 13 (2007)
Dir: Steven Soderbergh
Rating: ***1/2 out of 5 stars



I never saw Ocean's 12 (and apparently I never should) but I really enjoyed the first and third films. They both have a good sense of humor and a really clever heist. Julia Roberts and CZJ are absent this time around, but no big loss. The entire leading male cast returns, plus we get Al Pacino and Ellen Barkin back together again.

When a friend (Elliott Gould) gets screwed over by dickhead casino owner Willy Banks (Pacino), the Ocean team plots some revenge. Their plan involves sabotaging Banks' new high-security Vegas casino upon its grand opening and thus publicly humiliating Banks. The crew even enlists the help of their former enemy, Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia).

Their heist is occasionally implausible, but watching it play out is undeniably entertaining. There are clever scams and unexpected twists. Soderbergh and his writers deliver exactly what the viewer wants - a fun heist movie. Even if you hated Ocean's 12, this sequel more than makes up for it.

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Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Title: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Dir: Tim Story
Rating: ** out of 5 stars

There is not much to say here. The first Fantastic Four film was loathsome, but the sequel is actually slightly better. The lead characters are still annoying, but I enjoyed the storyline a little more this time around, namely the titular villain.

Having seemingly defeated Dr. Doom in the first film, the Fantastic Four are now celebrities and doing well for themselves. In fact, Richard Reed and Sue Storm are about to be married when a destructive vistor from outer space arrives. He is fast, silver, and very difficult to subdue. As it turns out, he represents a larger being called Galactus that devours planets, and Earth is to be the next target. Meanwhile, a thawed-out Von Doom returns to NYC with nefarious intentions.

I generally liked the Silver Surfer, portrayed by ever-versatile Doug Jones. He has some emotional depth because he is bound to Galactus but wishes to stop what he is doing. I only wish they movie used Jones' voice rather than dub over him with Laurence Fishburne (not a fan). The rest of the cast fills their roles as blandly as they did in the previous film. Chris Evans and Jessica Alba are the obligatory eye candy, Ioan Grufford is the "I'm British and I bring class to this film" guy, and Michael Chiklis fits the role physically and that's all there is to it. I still want to throw him out a window everytime he says, "It's clobbering time" or something to that effect.

Tim Story is a terrible director and I'd be content if he never made another Fantastic Four movie, or any movie. These films are only saved from being the worst Marvel movies by the cinematic travesties that were Daredevil and Elektra. I never gave two shits about the Fantastic Four anyway. I'm invisible! I'm stretchy! I'm made of rock! Who cares? Go back to those interstellar cosmic rays and get some real powers.

I like the concept of Silver Surfer - particularly his moral predicament - and Galactus. Anything that "devours planets" is pretty exciting in my book. Beyond that, the movie does not have much to offer. If for some reason you enjoyed the first one, this sequel is sure to please. But for the sane folks reading this - watch at your own risk.

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Tromeo and Juliet

Title: Tromeo and Juliet (1996)
Dir: Lloyd Kaufmann
Rating: * out of 5 stars



I saw this movie for one reason: James Gunn, who co-wrote it. I've never been a fan of Troma films, except for the brilliant Cannibal! The Musical which was 100% Trey Parker's brainchild, it just happened to be paid for by Lloyd Kaufmann. Anyway, Tromeo reminded me why I don't like Troma films.

I don't really need to go into the plot - it's basically William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, only with a lot of gratuitious sex and other ridiculous stuff. It's very raunchy and absurb.

I think it's cool James Gunn started out with Troma and has come so far. I can appreciate the value of "bad" movies. And I can even appreciate Tromeo's attempts to shock viewers in the way Shakespeare's plays did in his era. But I can only tolerate so much pointless stupidity. I've always hated shock without substance. That very description is Troma. Shock for the sake of shock. I dig Peter Jackson's insane old horror flicks, and I dig cheesy old B-movies, but I get nothing out of gratuitious sex, and random lesbian makeout sessions, and endless sex or potty jokes.

I gave Tromeo and Juliet one star because it did have a scene or two that made me chuckle. The best scene of the movie is one that happens to feature James Gunn. It's not funny simply because he's there, it's just a funny scene all-around. And some of the film's over-the-top violence was amusing (namely in the aforementioned Gunn scene).

I think it's really cool that Troma built itself up from the ground, and that they help fund low-budget works (they basically discovered Trey Parker and Matt Stone), and Lloyd Kaufmann seems like a pretty cool guy. But asking me to actually watch these movies is a whole other issue....

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Evan Almighty

Title: Evan Almighty (2007)
Dir: Tom Shadyac
Rating: *1/2 out of 5 stars



To be honest, I never liked Bruce Almighty. Too preachy, too mushy, and not very funny. Then lo and behold, Tom Shayac made a sequel that is too preachy, too mushy, and even less funny.

When we last saw newsman Evan Baxter (Steve Carell), he was being humiliated on-air by Jim Carrey in the first film. And now, for some reason, he is a politician. And for some reason, God has chosen him to build an ark and save Washington DC from an impending flood. In the process of doing this, Evan discovers faith, and grows closer to his family, and blah blah blah.

I love Mr. Carell, but this movie is beneath him. It's not unwatchable, but it's not really worth seeing either. It's not better than Bruce, but I wouldn't say it's worse either. Both films are rather dull to me. I suppose this kind of movie suffices for children, but it has no real entertainment value for adults.

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Return of the Living Dead

Title: Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Dir: Dan O'Bannon
Rating: ***** out of 5 stars



That's right - five stars! Why? Because I love this fuckin movie. It's always a good feeling when I love a movie instantly, rather than it grow on me over days/week/months/etc. I haven't felt this strongly about a horror film since I saw Re-Animator. Both that and Return are definitely among my favorite horror films ever (though technically this is more of a comedy...sue me).

Firstly, I have to say this: Return of the Living Dead has absolutely NOTHING to do with George Romero's zombie films. It's not a sequel nor a remake nor even a parody, really. I'm really sick of people misunderstanding that. Now that I got that off my chest....

Return begins with two bumbling idiots accidently releasing a mysterious toxin into the air at a medical supply company. They soon realize the gas is bringing dead creatures back to life. As the living dead begin to ransack the town in search of brains to eat, our nimwitted heroes are held up inside a house/crematorium along with some stereotypical 80's punks.

This movie has so many classic scenes and quotable lines. And while the acting may seem cheesy, most of the players are actually really good. Clu Gulager, James Karen, Don Calfa, and Thom Matthews all give memorable performances. There isn't really any gore in this one, so if you dig horror only for the blood and guts, you're sniffing up the wrong tree here. But if you like zombies, and laughing, then you can't live without Return of the Living Dead. 100% cult classic.

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Hostel: Part II

Title: Hostel: Part II (2007)
Dir: Eli Roth
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



Some people think Eli Roth's Hostel films are overrated, but I think they're misunderstood. This especially applies to Hostel: Part II, which managed to surpass its predecessor, though few people seemed to notice. It has less gratuitious torture, more character development, a more developed story, and a better cast. And somehow it gets an even worse rap than the first film!

In this installment, three American college students are taking a trip across Europe. After some scary encounters with the crazy residents, the girls meet a charming Eastern European woman who entices them to come to Slovakia, so they oblige. They stay at the infamous hostel from the first film, and are they soon sold to bored businessmen and rich sadists to be tortured/raped/killed/whatever the customer wants.

What makes Hostel II very interesting to me is seeing this torture industry from the other side. We see the head honchos, the initiation of new members, and "normal" people from all over the world bidding for victims on their PDAs like it's an eBay auction. This is a fascinating idea to me. Oddly enough, I find it highly believable! Roth really taps into human beings' natural sadism and fetishism.

Just as with Hostel, there is more going on here than just a bunch of young people being sliced up. I think Roth toned down the gore in this sequel to help drive home that very point. This film also has some genuinely likable characters. Lauren German is really good as the lead character, Beth, one of the three girls on the trip. And Roger Bart (of Broadway fame) is frickin awesome in this. He is very much cast against-type, and I LOVE it. Anyway, Hostel II's deeper themes and enjoyable characters are what set this film above generic torture-porn films. I only wish more people realized what this film has to offer.

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Lollilove

Title: Lollilove (2004)
Dir: Jenna Fischer
Rating: *** out of 5 stars



I bet you didn't know Pam Beesly has a sick sense of humor.

The Office's Jenna Fischer directed and co-wrote this mockumentary about a narcissistic married couple who set out to help homeless people by giving them lollipops with inspirational messages. Real-life couple Fischer and James Gunn (he directed Slither) play nasty versions of themselves in this Curb Your Enthusiasm-esque film. It was produced by Troma, which should give you some indication of the movie's political correctness, or lack thereof.

Made on a very small budget, this mockumentary follows the yuppie power-couple who wish to do their part for humanity (in reality, they want the attention). They decide that handing out inspirational "art" lollipops to the homeless would do the trick, but their messages meet with some skepticism, including a sombrero'd Mexican mascot who says, "No complain, hombre!" or Osama bin Awesome (you-know-who's much cooler brother) to discourage the homeless from blowing up planes (whoowaa??).

I loved watching James and Jenna play these clueless, selfish versions of themselves. James in particular plays an egomaniacal asshole and that alone is endlessly funny to me. Together, their misguided, politically-incorrect attempts at charity are pretty funny.

I only gave the movie 3 stars because it was not as funny as I'd hoped. Much of the film is improvised, which often shows. It's a bold effort, but it doesn't always pay off. And a small budget comes with the disadvantage of poor production value, but Lollilove is a worthy effort and certainly one of the best movies Troma has ever churned out. I really hope James and Jenna collaborate on another comedy some day. Their sick minds are too wonderful to be wasted.

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Surf's Up

Title: Surf's Up (2007)
Dir: Ash Brannon, Chris Buck
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



Believe it or not, a CGI movie about surfing penguins is actually pretty good. Surf's Up has drawn some unfair comparisons to Happy Feet, but it is a lot smarter and funnier than it looks.

Cody Maverick (Shia LaBeouf) is a penguin with big dreams. He lives on a glacier, but he wishes to compete in the annual Penguin World Surfing Championship on Pen-Gu Island. Then one day, a talent scout (a sea otter voiced by James Woods, of all things) makes Cody's dream come true by letting him compete. While on the island, the little penguin befriends a stoner-like surfer named Chicken Joe (Jon Heder) and the pretty lifeguard, Lani (Zooey Deschanel). Lani introduces him to an aging surfer named Geek (Jeff Bridges) who helps train Cody for the competition.

There are two major things that distinguish Surf's Up from generic animated films:

1) It is shot like a mockumentary. The "camera crew" follows Cody around, documenting his rise to fame as a surfing star, complete with interviews and stock footage along the way. Much of the film's humor stems from this style, and I thought it was delightfully original.

2) The voice actors performed together. This may not sound like a big deal, but trust me, it makes a huge difference. Usually, voice actors record their lines at different times and the parts are edited together. On the contrary, the leads in Surf's Up recorded their scenes in one room together just like on-screen actors. And it payed off, as you can really feel their chemistry shine through. This was especially the case with LaBeouf and Bridges, whose conversations felt so effortless and funny that it was like watching real characters, not just computer-generated birds.

The film is very cute, and has more adult-aimed humor than I expected. Diedrich Bader in particular has some hilarious lines as the villainous bully, Tank. All the voice actors did a great job, my personal favorites being Shia and Jeff who are both so lovable and funny here. Oh, and I should mention the animation - it's beautiful. It's not as technologically advanced as Pixar's work, but some of the surfing shots are breathtaking. Do not be quick to judge this film, it may just surprise you as it did me.

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The Last King of Scotland

Title: The Last King of Scotland (2006)
Dir: Kevin Macdonald
Rating: ****1/2 out of 5 stars



I CALLED IT! I could tell from the trailers for The Last King of Scotland that Forest Whitaker would give the knock-out performance of the year and sweep the award shows. After finally seeing the film, I can confirm that prediction - he gives a 5-star performance in this 4-star movie. That is not to say the film is bad, but Whitaker really gives 150% here.

In the early 1970s, an ambitious Scottish doctor named Nicolas Garrigan (James McAvoy) goes to Uganda as a volunteer. There he meets the charming President Idi Amin (Whitaker), who becomes fond of the young man and soon hires him as a personal physician and advisor. As the years pass, Amin's erratic behavior turns into madness and he begins killing thousands of his own people. Nicolas can no longer deny his friend's insanity, and upon trying to go home, soon discovers that he too is Amin's prisoner.

Based on Giles Foden's novel of the same name, The Last King of Scotland blends fact with fiction. Garrigan was not exactly a real person, but placing the story from his perspective is a brilliant way of intimately portraying Amin and his descent into madness. And McAvoy does a great job in the role. Nicolas has a bit of Western arrogance in him, which is a comforting reminder that he is responsible for his own predicament and that the film is not trying to imply "white people good, black people bad". It also portrays many Uganda characters who fall victim to the dictator. The white man is not the shining hero in this, he is just a fool who gets caught up in a fascinating - but dangerous - world. And he provides some fantastic POV on the "Butcher of Uganda."

Macdonald's directing is pretty good, and he utilizes some great scenery. Some people criticize the film's brutal violence, but I think it is highly appropriate. You can't make a film about genocide without the shocking imagery. It really drives home the brutality of Amin's regime and the severeity of Garrigan's situation. The film would not be the same without it.

The Last King of Scotland is definitely worth seeing, if only for Whitaker's intense, spot-on portrayal of Idi Amin. It will surely inspire you to read about the dictator, who created a fascinating, albeit tragic, time for Uganda in the 1970s. Just don't expect the film to go easy on you. Brace yourself for all the bloody violence you'd expect from a textbook account of the events. The truth is never pretty, but you can still enjoy it through beautiful filmmaking.

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Severance

Title: Severance (2006)
Dir: Christopher Smith
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



Once every year - if we're lucky - we get one fantastic horror-comedy. In the past year, there have actually been two or three really original ones, including Christopher Smith's Severance.

Like its more popular cousin Shaun of the Dead, this film throws uptight British people in the midst of an American-style horror situation. In Severance, a group of British salespeople from Palisade Defense are sent on a "team-building weekend" in the mountains of Hungary. But like in any good backwoods horror movie, our protagonists are not alone. Refreshingly, it's not mutants this time, but rather some revenge-hungry military crazies.

Some people have called this film "The Office meets Deliverence." I guess I can see the latter (woods + crazies), but the only really similarity with The Office is the characters. We do have a dopey boss who tries too hard (Tim McInnerny) and his nerdy, ass-kissing lapdog (Andy Nyman). But the humor is different, and much darker, of course. The movie also has a bit of Hostel in it (mainly the scary Eastern European atmosphere, and only tiny bit of torture).

I really liked the actors, especially leads Danny Dyer and Laura Harris (a far cry from the last time I saw her, as the southern-belle-turned-monster-alien in The Faculty). And Nyman is also great, though I felt really bad for his character. You'll see.

The plot is a bit far-fetched, but it does not matter so much as the black humor and the gore. The movie does deliver some pretty sweet blood + guts. I really look forward to seeing Christopher Smith's next effort. Severance should satisfy most horror fans, but it's a must-see for horror-comedy geeks (and fans of British humor) like myself.

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Knocked Up

Title: Knocked Up (2007)
Dir: Judd Apatow
Rating: **** out of 5 stars



The 40-Year-Old Virgin taught the world something that Freaks and Geeks fans already knew - Judd Apatow is a comedy genius. And if there still remains any doubt on that issue, Knocked Up is guaranteed to crush it.

To celebrate her promotion, career woman Allison Scott (Katherine Heigl) hits up the night club, where she meets a slovenly slacker named Ben (Seth Rogen). After many, many drinks, they spend the night together. Weeks later, Allison has forgotten this one-night stand and works as a successful television personality. But when the morning sickness hits, the alarming truth becomes evident - Allison is pregnant, and the father could only be one person.

After the initial shock, she and Ben agree to keep the baby and do their best to make their relationship work, but their conflicting lifestyles cause many roadbumps along the way. The movie follows their progress as a couple and shows that falling in love and having children doesn't necessarily occur in that order.

Knocked Up is not as funny as Apatow's last film, but it is more romantic and poignant. The characters are very relatable, and their situations feel all too familiar. Rogen and Heigl are perfect, and backed up by a fantastic supporting cast that includes Leslie Mann (aka Mrs Apatow), Paul Rudd, Alan Tudyk, Jason Segel, and Jonah Hill. It's not the kind of film I'd watch over and over, probably because it's just not that funny to me, but it's still one well-rounded movie worth seeing and worth praising.

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