Feast II: Sloppy Seconds

Title: Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
Dir: John Gulager
Rating: *1/2 out of 5 stars



Damn. I was really hoping to like this one, despite all the negative word-of-mouth. I am a big fan of the original Feast, though to be honest, I always wondered if that turned out good by sheer luck. Even then, I hated Gulager's directing, and with this sequel, I suspect he was granted more creative freedom. Consequently, Sloppy Seconds is 100 minutes of what I disliked about the first film - Gulager's hyperkinetic, gross-out bullshit.

Picking up where the first film left off, the ravenous monsters have invaded a nearby town. Among the survivors are two dwarf wrestlers and their grandmother, a gang of female bikers hellbent on revenge, and a sleazy used car salesman, his cheating wife, and her lover. Returning from the first film is a wounded Clu Gulager as "the bartender." The cowardly Honey Pie also returns here. Basically, the survivors get held up in a building and spend most of the movie trying to break into the local jail, which is evidently the safest spot in town. Needless to say, much carnage ensues.

For the first 30 minutes or so, I was enjoying the movie. It's campy, sure, but I couldn't see why people hate it so much. It was around the time of the creature autopsy that I lost faith in this film. I love over-the-top, and I certainly don't have a weak stomach, but the constant attempts to just be gross get B-O-R-I-N-G. And desperate. And occasionally absurd. Gulager's trademark hyperkinetic camera style also gets kinda annoying.

Some of the gore FX are cool, and they do still use creature suits - mostly. There is some god-awful CGI, for both the creatures and for general stunts. Chalk it up to a low-budget, fine, I can live with that. But the characters are also really annoying. And the sidestory of the biker chicks hunting down Bozo (from the first film) is nonsensical and goes nowhere. Not surprisingly, the only two likable characters are the two alumni from the first film. Clu is awesome anyway (Burt!) and Honey Pie just makes a great gore whore. I enjoy watching her if only for that. I just wanna be her!

Feast II has some intriguing moments - even the final credits are pretty cool - but it truly pales in comparison to its predecessor. Even the location is far inferior - the bar was a fantastic horror setting, but the survivors-holed-up-in-a-town thing is SO tired. Fans of gross-out and/or fucked-up horror may enjoy parts of this. I generally like both, but with substance, too. Even the infamous baby scene from this movie let me down. I place that blame on two parties - the asshole who ruined it for me in his review and the filmmakers for not pulling it off properly.

By the way, be prepared for a lack of ending, as the movie stops on a cliffhanger. This is the filmmakers' way of luring you to see Feast III. Good luck with that, guys, Lord of the Rings this is not.